10th Anniversary of 9/11 – My Memory

We all remember where we were 10 years ago today – September 11th, 2001. It’s a day ingrained in my memory. One that I wish I would forget – but never will. Below is a re-post from 2009 of my memory of that fateful day…No photos – just words.

Today is 9/11. We all remember what we were doing the moment we learned we were under attack. It was scary. Really the scariest moment of my life. Not knowing what was going to happen next and if we were all going to be alright. I, thank god, didn’t know anyone who was anywhere that was attacked. I could not though, get in touch with any of my family who lived 6-8 hours from me. The phones lines were jammed. I was however, able to IM my mom on the Internet and speak to her. I wanted to go home. I wanted to jump in my car and go home to my mom. It was the strangest, scariest feeling. I sat in front of the TV, motionless, in shock as the events unfolded. The 2nd tower was hit and the planes were going down. The towers began to fall and we all watched as New York City became covered in ash. We watched as the cameramen tried to outrun the ash coming at them and watched our screens go black until the dust settled. When it cleared, we watched as people in shock, walked the streets, crying and looking for their loved ones, for help, for anything. They were lost, as we were all lost.

I prayed and I prayed hard that day – for god to let us all be OK. I went to church that night to a prayer service. It wasn’t my church, but I didn’t care. I didn’t know what to do or where to turn. I knew that I had to pray and be with others. I found comfort in that small group of people that night.

We all questioned what life would be like from that day on. Would it ever be the same? Would there be numerous attacks on us? Would we ever feel safe again? It was something that no one could answer. Then came the anthrax scare. It was everywhere and people were dying. It seemed as if we were going under. But we didn’t. As in any tragedy, we eventually get up and dust ourselves off and get back on with our lives. We feel weird doing so. Like we are being disrespectful to those who were lost or those who are left behind fighting for us. But, that’s how life is. We have to move on and we have to be strong. We have to do it for ourselves, our families and as in this case, our country.

We remember what life was like before 9/11 and we remember what life was like after. Looking back over the past 8 years, I remember the major life changing events that have happened in my life since that day. I think that date was a defining moment in life for all of us.

Since 9/11 I have….

–         Buried my mother

–         Taken in my sister who was 18 at that time

–         Became a retail store manager

–         Quit my job as a  Massage Therapist

–         Got engaged

–         Became the Executive Director for a Chamber of Commerce

–         Bought a house

–         Got married

–         Had two miscarriages

–         Had a daughter

–         Lost my job

–         Became a childcare provider

–         Had a son

–         Sold a house

–         Bought a house

–         Moved to a new city

–         Started a blog

–         Won an awesome photo contest

–         Started my daughter in Pre- School

Each year when this day rolls around, I get a sick feeling in my stomach. I know that the most horrible day in my life is right around the corner. The day my mom passed away. I lost her on Halloween, unexpectedly. I was 23, had a sister who was a senior in High School and a brother who was in Kindergarten. It was undoubtedly, the worst day of my life.

So each year, I have two dates to remember what life was like before they happened. 9/11 and the passing of my mom. They seem to go hand in hand because they happened so close together. It’s tough. It does get easier each year. It’s been 8 years, but I never, ever forget  all the details of those two days that changed my life forever.